Forgive? But How?


My mom would say, "Forgiveness is more about you than it is the other person. You're stuck in the corner mad while they've moved on with their life, not even thinking about you."

Years ago, I found myself in a place where I felt stuck. Why was I so angry with everyone? Why did I find myself in a pool of my own tears night after night?  I even went to see a therapist; I said I was stressed but she said I was depressed.  I saw people all around me happy, in relationships without a care in the world. Meanwhile I was dying inside; single & mad at the world for yet another failed relationship.

I had so much hatred in my heart and built up a wall that no one would be able to pass.  I was filled with anger towards those who hurt me.  

I didn't want to feel this way. So I asked God to heal my heart.  I asked Him to teach me how to forgive those who hurt me.  It wasn't long after that when He spoke to me and gave me instructions to call those very same people who betrayed, hurt and abused me and ask THEM to forgive ME. "Wait...WHAT?" I must be delirious. "I'm sorry God, You want me to do WHAT?"  I heard Him more clearly the second time. He said that my healing would start once I forgave them and humbled myself enough to repent for the hatred I had towards them; ask them to forgive me for wishing harm upon them for what they did to me.  

I prayed and called those who He instructed me to call.  Wow, the spirit of heaviness, pain and anger became lighter after each call.  With God, I was able to bring closure to years of pain that I held on too.  

The bible says "But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. ” (Mark 11:25 NLT). 

I know it's hard. It was one of the hardest things I had to do; to call and speak to people who betrayed my trust and hurt me in ways people will never understand but with the help of The Lord, I was able to forgive, get closure and move forward with my life in peace.


Heavenly Father, thank You for who You are in my life.  You let us know in Your word that You know what we have need of before we ask. So Father, You see the burden of un-forgiveness that we are holding on to. Soften our hearts and teach us how to forgive those who have hurts us.  We release it all to You Lord. Teach us to move forward in love. Your Son Jesus gave the perfect example as He prayed for those who persecuted Him. So even now Father, as You are giving us strength to forgive, we thank You for bringing us to a place of peace to pray for those who hurt us. We praise You in advance for the victory over un-foregivness.  In Jesus' name, amen